European Honeymoon
by PrincessAlica
Summary: Just a little one shot, thinking about how Scarlett would react to an abbreviated Grand Tour. - author note added to address the unsigned reviews.


**Author's Note: This piece was written only as an amusement for myself, mocking Scarlett. Please do not take it as anything other than that. If you would like to discuss my choices or have any questions about the piece, please IM me. It is an original, as are all my works. Thanks for reading.**

A random piece with no real point, but the thought amused me

He had told her that they were only going to New Orleans for their honeymoon. And even that separation from her business made her anxious and uneasy, but it had all been a ruse. Oh, certainly they had gone to New Orleans, and she had enjoyed it immensely. The clothes, the food, the gaiety, it was all wonderful. She was enjoying her time as Mrs. Rhett Butler. And as promised, being married to him was much more fun than it had been with Frank or Charles. And for moment all thoughts of life back in Atlanta would slip away. But no he had gone too far.

The issue was that they had traveled too far and would be gone for much longer than she was comfortable with. He had said New Orleans, and yet here she was in Europe. She had never liked foreigners, and yet he expected that she would like to travel. She had to admit that the food was delicious. She had never tasted such wonderful things. The desserts were simply divine. The wine and champagne were sweet, and no one seemed to care that she was drinking. She could tell that it was just a fact of life here for a woman to drink. At first she had balked when Rhett tried to convince her to eat the squashy little bits of boiled stuff that he called pasta. The texture was not something that she was accustomed to, but she slowly came to realize that she did enjoy the dish that they called spaghetti. It had taken some getting used to, but the tanginess of the sauce, especially when they grated cheese over it, was very pleasing indeed. And she now adored what they called lasagna. Who knew that little bits of dried dough boiled in water could be so tasty.

She delighted in eating Crème Brulee. It was astonishing that something so simple could be so heavenly. And also she loved Mousse. She was enjoying all of the food in Italy, although the desserts and bread had been wonderful, the food in France hadn't been that great. Well, the onion soup was delicious, but how could they think that eating snails was treat? Of course they gave it some fancy name, but a snail was a snail. She had refused. She could still see Rhett's smirk as she had looked up at him in horror when the waiter with some other fancy name set the dish before her. She had merely pointed out one of the items on the menu, none of which she knew what they were in so in turn received a plate full of shells and cooked creatures that her only experience of was plucking from plants. "Rhett, this is disgusting. They put snails on my plate. You need to tell that waiter to come and get rid these. I do not want something like this on my plate." Rhett had chuckled and spoke something to the waiter he waved down. Her plate was whisked away and then quickly returned with some small pieces of meat.

She tentatively began eating, thinking how oddly shaped the chicken was, which was what Rhett told her that she was eating. Well he hadn't exactly said that it was chicken, but after her first bite, she was certain. After all what else could it be? Then he instructed her to close her eyes. She did and he fed her a morsel that was rich and buttery, but almost too greasy for her to stand. Her nose curled up in disgust. "I think that I would rather just have dessert. This food is all too strange for me."

It was only later that Rhett had informed her that the meal that she had eaten was frog legs and that small buttery morsel was a bit of the snail that she had so adamantly refused. "You had me eat frog legs and snails?" She yelled. "Do they just pluck whatever varmint that they find in the garden on a plate and call it food?"

He reached for her, but she jerked away from him. "You let me eat that! Don't think that I'm going to forgive you so easily! Why I have never been so appalled in my life. I know what it is to be starving and I can't imagine eating frogs and snails! And yet here they serve them in restaurants!" She huffed, "I feel like I need to gargle with soapy water!" But of course she had forgiven him, but she had learned to be much more cautious when ordering food when Rhett was near. He was all together too amused by the horror in which she received some of the dishes.

Of course food was not the only issue over which they clashed. Rhett seemed annoyed at her lack of knowledge over the importance of all of the old buildings that they saw. Because of some of Rhett's contacts from the war, they had been invited to small party at Versailles in the hall of mirrors. The room intrigued her. She loved the look of so many mirrors, and she very much wanted to replicate it in their new home. And the gardens outside the windows were beautiful as well. Rhett could be so sweet and endearing at times when he wasn't teasing or mocking.

But some of the places that they visited were in such poor condition that she didn't understand why they hadn't been torn down. Just the other day, they had visited a quaint little village called Pisa. And right beside the cathedral was tower that was leaning quite precariously. Rhett had shushed her when she complained that they needed to fix the tower that was leaning at such an angle. "I don't understand… why they don't just tear it down and start all over."

"It was built a very long time ago, my little ignoramus. Some people are proud of history and things like that." And Rhett nearly had to drag her to the top of the structure. She didn't feel safe in it. It wouldn't surprise her if it fell over with them in it. He had told her that it was a famous landmark and they it had started leaning by the time that they finished building the third level. In fact the building was completed with the upper floors leaning in opposite direction to try and correct the initial leaning problem. "Well then why didn't they tear it down and start all over, and do it right this time." She exclaimed in frustration. "It seems like someone used inferior material, or didn't do enough work before starting the job."

Before Pisa, they had spent a week in Venice. The smell alone was enough to turn her stomach. But also the city was obviously in a state of decline. Buildings were falling into the canals, and some of them were tipping so badly that the door to the homes were partially covered with the green water. Rhett told her that Gondola rides were supposed to be romantic, but really how romantic was paddling through an open sewer?

And then it seemed that every place that they went there were statues of naked men and occasionally naked women. She was embarrassed and intrigued at the same time. Even though Rhett was her third husband, she had never examined his parts, and she had certainly never seen Charlie or Frank like that. The lights had always been out and they had always been covered by a sheet at least. And so she was mortified when Rhett caught her looking at one of the statues out of the corner of her eye. He'd laughed, "you don't need to look at the statue to satisfy your curiosity. You are more than welcome to study me, if you are so interested."

She knew that her eyes must have been the size of saucers and her cheeks had been bright pink in mortification. "You are just low enough to say something like that." She wanted to crawl under a rock. "I was wondering why they don't cover the statues a little. It's just in poor taste!" Rhett had merely chuckled as he led her away from the statue.

At least the clothes were worth the trip, although she desperately wanted to go home to check on the mills and the store. Knowing Ashley, he was practically giving the lumber away, and of course that was no way to make a profit. She was enjoying the time with Rhett, but she was certain that she would enjoy him more in Atlanta where she could keep an eye on everything. And surprisingly she was even beginning to miss the children. Not that she intended to spend much more time with them when she returned home, but at least then she could be certain that they were taken care of and well fed.

And yet when she told Rhett that she wanted to go home she knew that he was furious, although he didn't say much. His eyes were snapping in the black depths, and the grip that he had on her hand was painful. She was bored with what he called culture. She just wanted to go back to her life. All of the clothes and food weren't worth anything, especially if there was no one of flaunt it in front of. And all of the people that they spent time with seemed to have just as much as she did. She wanted to go back to Atlanta and wear her fine clothes and know that everyone knew just how special she was.

Rhett told her that they were leaving for Switzerland in the morning and then after a few days there, they would go on to London and then within a week they would be sailing home. He told her of the chocolate that they would sample while in Switzerland, and of the things that they would see while in England. As much as she had enjoyed spending this time alone with Rhett, she wanted to get home and start building her house and showing off Rhett's numerous gifts. Besides, all they talked about here was history, and really who cared about the past so much. She knew that she didn't.


End file.
